Thursday, September 09, 2004

8 days and counting

8 days, 8 short, but long days. Then we are Myrtle Beach bound. Tommy and I have been married for 16 years, and not had a vacation in our entire marriage. The boys have never seen the beach, the ocean, and have only stayed in a hotel once. Needless to say, we are all excited. We all can't wait until time to hit the road.

All hurricanes are on notice now, you better stay clear of Myrtle Beach for the few days before, and the entire time we are there. I need this vacation. No hurricane is going to rob me of it.

We are staying at the Crown Reef which is by far, the nicest place I have ever stayed on vacation. Oceanfront room. I cant' wait to lay in bed and listen to the ocean at night. IF it is warm enough, I may even sleep with the door to the deck open. I love listening to the waves crash.

While we are gone, I will turn 36 years old. Yep, I'm getting old. But what better place to turn 36, than at the beach? I plan on getting up early that morning, and sitting on the deck before anyone else gets up and enjoying the solitude.

I'm not even going to be self conscious about how I look in my bathing suit, or the fact that I don't tan, and my legs are white enough to blind you when the sun hits them. I'm not going to worry about looking like a fool while I swim, or making an idiot out of myself in front of my SIL and BIL who are taking us. I am just going to relax, have fun, and forget all the stress and trouble at home. Sounds like a good plan doesn't it.

I'm gonna sit by the pool, drink drinks with umbrellas in them, and lose my inhibitions. And at some point, I plan on finding out what sand caught in certain creases feels like.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004


Ok, I wrote this big, long dark post. I hit delete. It was too depressing.

So, on a lighter note, I will tell you a story, a true story.

When my sis and I took mom to the ER several weeks ago, we kept them in stitches. Literally, mom was calling the male nurse, "mama" among other things. She also had a newbie nurse. A cute, petite thing, with long blond hair, a sweet innocent face, and little girl sounding voice. So fresh out of nursing school, she didn't even know how to put an IV in. She wasn't new when we left.

The doc ordered a urine culture. The whole time we had been there, mom had been hollering about needing to pee, we kept telling her to wait, so here was her chance. The nurse brought in a port-a-potty, and put it beside the bed. For those of you that don't know about urine cultures, they have to have a "clean" specimen. Which means the area has to be washed with a sanitizing wipe before you pee. Then you are supposed to urinate a few drops, stop yourself, then finish in a sanitary cup. This is hard enough to accomplish when you are young, slim, and limber.

My mom isn't a small woman. She is probably 5'8, and weighs something north of 250. We aren't sure exactly how much, she won't tell. Being 80 years old, and feeble, barely able to walk across the floor without her cane or walker, hasn't touched her toes in years. Getting a clean sample isn't going to be easy.

Nurse: here Mrs.---- we need a urine sample, can you get it for me?

Mom: sure can honey,

Nurse: we need a clean sample, so you know what to do with this (handing mom the wipe thingy)

Mom: yes, I think I can reach it, I'm not sure. (trying her best to use the wipey properly, while my sis is standing behind her holding her shirt up, and her pants down.

Nurse: (hands mom the cup to pee in) here you go, do you think you can urinate in this for me?

Mom: I got to go in that?

Nurse: yes, ma'am, it has to go in that cup.

Mom: well, I can't stand here, pee, and hold that cup at the same time. Are you gonna hold the cup for me.

Now by this time, I am laughing so hard, trying not to, so my shoulders are shaking, I am having a hard time breathing, and my sis, who is behind mom, is in the same shape, only she has the job of holding mom's pants for her, up off the floor, around her knees caps. Both of us know if mom sees us laughing we are in deep crap.

Nurse: no ma'am I can't hold it for you. (her face had suddenly went pale as a sheet, I can't say that I blame her.)

Mom: well, isn't that your job?

Nurse: welllllll, I guess so, but don't you think you can do it yourself?

By this time, the nurse is standing directly in front of mom, holding the cup out to her. Mom tries to squat a little to get the cup where it needed to be, with no luck. Nurse newbie, I know had to be praying mom's arms would suddenly lengthen several inches so she could reach the perfect spot. It wasn't happening. Out come the rubber gloves.

Nurse newbie, finally realizes she's gonna have to bite the bullet, neither me nor my sis are volunteering anytime soon. So here we all are, standing around, waiting for mom to go. She got stage fright. After complaining for hours that she needed to pee, she couldn't. She just could not pee with an audience. I turned on the water, first the cold, then the hot, then both together, nothing. I'm doing the pee dance, and she is standing there, not moving, and certainly not peeing.

Nurse newbie told her to sit on the port-a-potty, and relax, see if things could get going. She had no longer sat down till we hear, "OOOOOOHHHHH, get that cup, get the cup, hurry, I'm peeing...too late. I'm done. "

After all that, she missed the cup entirely. The cup was still in nurse newbies hands, on the other side of the room. We wound up pouring the pee from the port-a-potty to the cup. After we all stopped laughing.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004


We set off this morning for the orange cast. Raining like the flood back in Noah's days, thanks to hurricane,tropical storm, depression, Frances. Traffic of course was horrible, what do you expect with all that rain? Did I mention Noah hates rain? He absolutely hates it. Can't stand to get rain on his head.

We left for a cast, and come home with a brace. The doc said that thanks to him breaking the thinner bone in his arm, and the fact the larger bone is fine, and there aren't any distortions, plus the fact the bone is still resting relatively straight, he wasn't going to adjust it, or try to reset it. Put him in a removable brace, and sent us on our way.

I have to make him be very careful,and keep him kind of subdued, but he can go about life as normal. Scares me to death. Here he is, walking around with a broken arm, in a removable brace. Noah was actually disappointed, he was looking forward to his orange cast, and getting all those signatures on it.

Cast Day

Tomorrow is cast day for Noah, thankfully. He wants an orange one, which I am happy to oblige him on. I like orange, and it is his favorite color, so and orange cast we will get.

He decided yesterday he didn't like his splint anymore, and wanted it off, he saunters into the living room, with those big brown eyes, just as wide as saucers, and that shocked look on his face, "mom, I don't know what happened, it just came off".

"Yep, uh huh, sure son, whatever you say. I was born yesterday you know."

Let me explain a little, his hard splint, is a 2.5 foot long piece of plaster, about 2 inches wide, that was wet, and molded to the form of his arm, around his elbow. While it was wet, they wrapped it with an ace bandage, from the tips of his fingers to a couple inches above the bend of his elbow. At the end, the Velcro closure, folds so it can be tucked in between layers, and not come loose. When Noah comes in to show it to us, the end is still tucked into the folds, but there are two loops of bandage that are totally off his arm. How he did this, I don't know. I do know, it took us a good half hour to figure out how to wrap it back.

He is looking forward to getting his cast. He thinks it will be more comfortable than the splint. I pity him in a couple of weeks, when we are at the beach, he has sand all down the cast, and can't scratch.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Ex-neighbors, still driving me crazy

I walk in to the grocery store, and there she is, the ex neighbor, the one that called CPS on us.

They moved this past weekend, and I am so happy. So relieved. That is until I walked in to the store. She is at the check out unloading her two cases of Budweiser, I say hello, how are you, did you get all moved, yada-yada-yada, blah-blah-blah, she replies with "So, did you get the visit you were expecting?"

I honestly, couldn't believe it. I could have screamed right then and there. Instead, I put a huge smile on my face, and said "NO? Why would they visit us?" and walked off.

Some people have so much nerve. If I wasn't already positive it was her who made the call, I know it for sure now. My blood is boiling just writing this.

Background music

I have tried to refrain myself from posting song lyrics. Why? I don't know.

But tonight is a different story, the new song, well, it has a special place in my heart. I was a HUGE GNR fan in my teens, and I never really grew out of it. I am ashamed to say that at one time, I had a crush on Axel. Notice the key word, HAD in that sentence. Sweet child is my all time favorite. I just knew in my 17 yr old head that he was singing it to me. Young and stupid. That was me.

Guns N Roses
Sweet Child O' Mine

She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

Where do we go
Where do we go now
Where do we go
Sweet child o' mine